10 Kinds of People You Don’t Want to Invite to Your House
Posted by Phoebe Chin on 08/4/08 in Featured, Funny
#10 – The Make Yourself Feel At Home Type
Remember the saying “make yourself at home?” Well some people literally do it – from eating everything in your fridge, using your toothbrush, taking a bath, borrowing your underpants, and even surfing for porn on your computer which could lead to a virus infections and the loss of your data (porn).
#9 – The Alpha Male
This guy loves a good fight, makes you drink till you drop, reveal the most embarrassing moments to the girls you like, and will make you look like an idiot in front of everyone. For the love of God don’t invite the Alpha Male into your humble abode.
#8 – The Barman
This is usually a guys role and he’ll sit right next to all the booze and make sure he tops up your cup and every other girls cup, aiming for the world record of the most drunk people in one location. He’ll drink up all your booze and never offer to buy more.
#7 – The Pool Pushers
What’s disturbing about pool pushing is that the people involved in the pushing don’t think about your wallet, keys and mobile phone when they throw you in. The pool pushers often work in groups and will gang up on the host.
#6 – The Phoner
“S**t, what’s this 4-hour long-distance call to Norway on the phone bill??!!”
#5 – The Cockblocker
Have you’ve ever had a moment with a chick at a party, and thought you had a chance when suddenly someone comes along says his best pickup lines, and in an instant the love of your life walks away? If this has happen to you then you should take better care and get right to the point before the cockblocker makes his move.
#4 – The Druggies
They hide in a corner of your room and start popping pills and smoking up. The next morning, the distinguishable smell of marijuana lingers in your house for about a week.
#3 – The Spewer
Mr. Spew is easy to spot.
- Started drinking whisky-on-the-rocks before the party starts
- Pukes at every party he goes to
- Can happily sleep in any position and location
#2 – The Shagger
Watching porn full of fit and young blondes is fun. Watching your pal screws your intoxicated sister in YOUR bedroom is NOT.
#1 – The Social Media Addict
Well equipped with a 5 megapixel camera the social media addict is someone who’ll exploit your worse moments and share them on the internet for the world to laugh and put to shame. You never want to invite a social media guru to your home unless you have something amazing to show off or if you want to get your 2 minutes of fame online.
So you think you can dance?
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Brian | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
the alpha and the cock blocker are sometimes one and the same!
Good list!
Tammy | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
haha… totally agree with that!
Mmmmm | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
Good Post! So, which one is you in the last pic?
j4pwords | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
Yeah….the parties at your place must be awesome
You Suck | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
This is why nobody comes to your residence Filbert.
Cec | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
yeah…..the parties at your place must be awesome
Editor, The SciTech Journal | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
Nice ppost. Very funny and amusing. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Keep it up man. Thumbs up to you
JokesBoy | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
Guest are always a matter of problem, no matter how good they behave. Those sticky ones who don’t leave home easily $uck5 a lot!
tenebrius | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
thats about erverybody
Mark | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
I never use this word, I hate it, but that last picture… its gotta be said, is just EPIC!!!!
megademic astroscientist | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
Since when does the smell of marijuana smoke linger in anything longer than an hour or two…?
evpstud | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
ha ha I’m totally the social media addict, which is probably why i don’t get invited to many parties…
jim | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
Are those pool pushers throwing Rafael Nadal into the pool?
"Druggie" | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
I could not agree more with you, megademic astroscientist
Sean | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
You must have some shitty parties because there’s no one there.
ryan | Aug 5, 2008 | Reply
“The next morning, the distinguishable smell of marijuana lingers in your house for about a week.”
lol?
Ken Kesey | Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
Don’t know bout you guys, but #4 is always welcome at the parties I go to, as long as they bring enough to share. But then I guess that means I go to druggie parties, but hey, we’re good people. Multiple felons, perhaps, but certainly nothing dangerous…
Bender | Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
How about the douchebag that will write a list on his blog of the people not to invite to your next party
anon | Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
the alpha males are the worst by far. not only do they make entire parties and social gatherings boring and tense. they are usually loud as hell and start fights over absolutely nothing.
Skwirral | Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
How would this guy’s parties be awesome? He doesn’t let anyone come. Well, at least no guys, since almost all guys will fall into one of those categories. And girls won’t be very likely to come to a party when they realize all the people there are female except for the host, they’ll think he’s a sleazeball. So, yeh, D+ for effectiveness, but A+ for pointing out the problem people at most parties. The thing to try is, instead of not inviting these people, *become* the cock-blocker or alpha. Hang around the girl you get the instant crush on, and when the other guy comes up to mumble a pathetic attempt at a pick-up line, sweep in with your zinger and steal *his* thunder. You block the cock, pick up the chick, and he decides never to invite you to his parties based on the information in this post. You win all around. His parties probably wouldn’t have any good ladies there anyway.
Starscream | Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
Who does that leave?
boring people…
sam | Aug 6, 2008 | Reply
so who do you want at your parties then? worst blog ever
/b/ | Aug 7, 2008 | Reply
Druggies? Smell of pot lingering for a week? You are teh fail. You should kill yourself. I’m sure the party that ensues will be epic, but the smell of pot will still not linger for more than a few hours.
Saevio | Aug 7, 2008 | Reply
I’m the druggie…and for that very simple reason I get invited to ALL the parties
The smell can linger a little, depends on where you are smoking really.
Charlie | Aug 7, 2008 | Reply
seen better versions of this. Phot of guy bein sick is good tho